Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Got cha...
Las Vegas Churches
accept gambling chips
THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE
TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN
LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES
THAN CASINOS.
NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.
SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..
THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.
THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.
YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU ?
accept gambling chips
THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE
TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN
LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES
THAN CASINOS.
NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.
SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..
THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.
THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.
YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU ?
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LERLY...
Today is my sister Lerilynn's birthday...I love my big sis...she was a teenage mother. Had all three kids before she was 20 and I use to go to her house when I was little and spend the weekend. She was a good mom ...I probably learned my mothering skills from those early years of spending time watching her. She would discipline her oldest Jerome and he would curl up his little lip and it would break my heart. She would tell me "don't you dare love on him when I discipline him...so I would wait till she walked out of the room and I would pounce on that kid and love him to bits. She never did catch me but I think she knew what I was doing all along. She would cook macaroni and cheese and I loved it. She always made sausage gravy for breakfast in the morning and man did I ever eat my heart out. Love her...but one of my fondest memories of her and spending time there was how she would put on rock and roll music and dance. No body in our family could dance like lerly...I wanted to be like her so bad. But I never could dance like her. So lerly I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me and how much I learned from you and just how special you really are.
I miss you alot. So I pray you will have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Always wear clean underwear......
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working
under
your vehicle...
From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story
of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to
have
their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife
to carry
on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife
returned
later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding
from under
the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of
underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped
forward,
quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back
into
place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and
found
herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his
forehead.....
under
your vehicle...
From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story
of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to
have
their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife
to carry
on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife
returned
later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding
from under
the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of
underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped
forward,
quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back
into
place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and
found
herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his
forehead.....
Sunday, September 14, 2008
It's harvest time
This years harvest is so sweet...I love the fall...thanks to lerly and the canner she left me I have done 17 quarts of peaches...thanks lerly I love ya. Happy harvest to all of ya...
Friday, September 12, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
got this in my mail and had to post it..too funny
Age by Walmart
> >
> > You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.
> >
> > Depending on your age you might do the following:
> >
> > In your 20's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
> >
> > In your 30's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
> >
> > In your 40's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
> >
> > In your 50's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'
> >
> > In your 60's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog poop off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in you pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.
> >
> > In your 70's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog poop on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
> >
> > In your 80's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.
> >
> > You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.
> >
> > Depending on your age you might do the following:
> >
> > In your 20's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
> >
> > In your 30's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
> >
> > In your 40's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
> >
> > In your 50's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'
> >
> > In your 60's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog poop off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in you pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.
> >
> > In your 70's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog poop on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
> >
> > In your 80's:
> >
> > Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
My life as a lunchlady
Yes the wo's of a lunch lady are many...the first week was very long and crazy...my main boss had a heart attack and is goin in for double by pass...he blamed it on the middle school. He said he did not invite me to the lunch lady meeting this summer because he heard I was in rehab...and he also calls me a hobbit. Now how is that for work harrassment? So off he goes for a double by pass and I did not pray for that to happen. Nope not me. Then my boss in the kitchen had back surgery this summer so she is absent for the first day's fun. The cook one take's her place and my sis nell takes her place, and you all see how that work's we all cover oneanother. Well the 3d day the cook one moves to another school cause their manager up's and quits. So now we have our manager and her sore back, back in our kitchen and she brought her daughter to be our new cook one. And you guy's thought being a lunch lady was boring. Well I can just tell you it is not. We are working our butt's off literally mine is no where to be found but that is a good thing. I was glad to loose it cause it had grown a little this summer with all the munchies goin down....oh sorry I got carried away. No my butt is still here, but my feet well they could use a rub about now but you know that ain't happening....and poor nell well she is still hanging in there..bless her little pea picking heart. One tough lady that one is. ok I guess I have whined enough for the first week I will have more to whine about the second week so give a big shout out to all the lunch lady's who feed your kid's...we need it.
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